Ahhh - the old ones are the best!!

These excuses were on accident claim forms of a major insurance company. ere asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident.

1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.
3. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
4. The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
5. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
6. The accident occured when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
7. I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
8. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
9. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
10. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.
11. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
12. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
13. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
14. When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
15. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.
16. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
17. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
18. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth

How the neighbors DIY could end up costing you.

Homeowners in the south-east of the UK are the worst culprits in terms of DIY disasters, according to new research.

Some 29 per cent of the recorded incidents of damage caused to neighbours' properties as a result of property renovation occurred in the south-east, a new Halifax study indicates.

A cumulative £173 million worth of damage is caused by neighbours undertaking home improvement projects, with one-third of those affected having to cover the cost themselves, while others split the cost.

David Rochester, head of underwriting at Halifax Home Insurance, said: "A number of errant DIYers are not just damaging their properties, but their neighbours' homes too

You couldn't make it up - Australian version

An elderly man was penalised for the twin crimes of failing to keep one’s savings in a secure bank and keeping secrets from one’s wife when the wad of cash he had secretly stashed in the couple’s rarely-used wood fire oven went up in smoke when she decided to prepare (an also rare) home-cooked meal.

All in a day’s work apparently for the chaps at Allianz Australia – according to a list the insurer released today of strange but true insurance claims.

“We hear quite a few interesting stories through our claims ..." says a spokesman for the company "… from a car crash caused by a ghost to horses eating car interiors.”

Perhaps, surprisingly, many of these claims are successful.

“You couldn’t make some of these stories up if you tried,” he said.

“It goes to show that truth really can be stranger than fiction.”

Some of the more unusual claims paid by Allianz in 2007 include an Adelaide-based woman who was robbed of her extensive (and apparently expensive) collection of sex toys, a rural NSW-based family whose home inside a hill was destroyed when a cow fell through their skylight and a northern Queensland-based man who’s car was written off when he swerved to avoid hitting the local celebrity ghost.

While Allianz were somewhat doubtful about the circumstances of the last claim, it was paid on the basis that it could not be proven that ghosts do not exist.

DIY fans expected to cause up to £25 million damage this Easter

DIY enthusiasts could cause up to £25million worth of damage in British homes this Easter weekend - one of the most popular periods for taking on home improvements.

Research suggests that a clumsy 16 per cent of people have damaged their homes or their property carrying out a DIY improvement and the industry expects to pay out anything up to £25 million for DIY-related damage this Easter.

A survey of 2,000 householders by Allianz Insurance also found that nearly 30 per cent of people admit they have injured themselves or someone else while carrying out a DIY job. This figure is supported by the fact that an estimated 200,000 DIY enthusiasts turn up at hospital each year.

Worryingly, 55 per cent admitted to starting a DIY job without the correct tools and almost 50 per cent said that they had started a DIY job without really knowing how to do it - including electrical and plumbing jobs.

So if you're looking to start those long-awaited home improvements this weekend - you just mind how you go!

Giving the insurance industry a bad name? Bah humbug!!

Reading the Daily Mail this morning, I nearly choked on my coffee!

What on earth is the world coming to?

Apparently, Panto performers have been banned from throwing sweets into the crowd - because the health and safety police are scared of being sued!

Apparently, over sensitive theatre bosses imposed the order after two pensioners complained about being hit by bonbons during a performance of Jack and the Beanstalk last year. The director then rang his public liability insurers and received some worrying news.

"They advised us that we probably wouldn't be covered in the event of someone getting hurt," said Mr Lynch, from the Pavilion Theatre in Gorleston, Norfolk.

"They suggested throwing a sweet at someone would be viewed as an act of negligence rather than a simple accident, and we would therefore be liable to pay compensation."

"We have to make sure we do not open ourselves to being sued."

Actors in this year's production of Babes in the Wood and Robin Hood will now have to drop sweets off the edge of the stage for children to pick up.

Mr Lynch said he had checked with other theatres, and found that many were also ending the practice.

This is not the first time the theatre has suffered from restrictive health and safety measures. Last month, Peter Pan was banned from flying in a musical put on by a local youth theatre group.

Roof brackets were needed to support Peter's wires and they could not be installed without the theatre undergoing a full structural survey.

You know sometimes, this industry that I love, really leaves me scratching my head!

Mind how you go now.

Insurance claim is hisss-tory!!

Taiwan police have arrested a man who allegedly used a snake bite in an insurance fraud scheme, a newspaper said Saturday. The man, a Taipei construction worker identified only as Chien, 53, claimed he was bitten by a snake in November 2006 at the home of a friend who raised snakes.

Chien was rushed to hospital by his friend and had one finger amputated.

Several months ago, Chien approached his insurance company to claim 25 million Taiwan dollars (760,000 US dollars) insurance for bodily injury.

The insurance company studied Chien's medical records and became suspicious on finding that there was only one bite mark on Chien's hand, yet tests showed there were three types of snake venom in his blood.

Another peculiarity was that after Chien was bitten, he and the friend waited three hours before rushing Chien to a hospital.

The insurance company believed Chien let one snake bite him and injected the venom of two other snakes into his hand, so that the "snake bite" would be serious enough to require his hand or arm to be amputated, so he could file a claim on an insurance policy for bodily injury.

After investigating, the insurance company alerted police, who are now set to prosecute Chien for insurance fraud.

You see, you really need to get up early in the morning to get one over the insurance industry!

Insurance claims Deer - official!

I got a note from a pal in the industry who lives in Swindon and he passed me a copy of a report in his local newspaper which had me scractching my head.

According to the report in This is Wiltshire, warnings are being issued to motorists in the New Year to slow down whilst driving in the New Forest.

The reason?

Deer.

Yep, apparently, head-on collisions with deer are leading to insurance claims of more than £21 million each year across the UK.

Apparently, every year an estimated 75,000 deer are struck by cars in the UK, but Jamie Cordery, the south-east deer liaison officer for the Deer Initiative, said that, despite the high number of deaths, the population of deer in the New Forest is not yet under threat.

Well that got me thinking. And I reached for my calculator. 75,000 claims costing £21m.

That works out at £280 per claim.

For a head-on-collision.

Must be accidents involving Fiat cars then.

More silly accidents

My, I've certainly started something now!

My piccies from last week seem to have struck a chord witrh some of my pals from the industry - and they've kindly sent me some of their favourites.

they're the kind of photos that make you want to say "Errrr .... just how did ....."!!

Driving your truck? You mind how you go then!!

Or you might suffer the same fate as these two drivers!

Let this be a lesson to you!

One of the issues that has blighted the insurance industry ever since Adam was a lad is that of fraudulent claims. Some classes of insurance, particularly travel insurance and home insurance suffer from a significant number of people trying to claim what is not rightfully theirs. There does seem to be aview that insurance can be treated as some kind of savings plan - there to be drawn upon when times are hard.

And the problem is, of course, that its the honest people who end up paying for the fraud through increased premiums.

That said, I did like this chaps ingenuity.

A bloke from Charlotte, North Carolina purchased a box of 24 rare and very expensive cigars. Wishing to protect his investment then, the man decided to insure the collection.

Against... fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man decided to make a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued, and guess what?

Yep - he won.

In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that the man held a policy from the company in which it was warranted that the cigars were insurable. The company, in the policy, had also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and so, the company was obliged to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he had lost in "the fires."

However, shortly after the man cashed his cheque, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one-year prison terms.

It could only happen in America!

Proximate cause

Those of us who have been in the insurance game know all about proximate cause. it's an old insurance definition - offically it's "The active efficient cause that sets in motion a train of events which brings about a result without the intervention of any new force starting and working actively from a new and independent source".

In other words it can be a simple accident or incident that then goes on to initiate a whole series of what would have been unrelated events.

I was reminded of proximate cause when I heard the following story from Tennessee this week.

"Things went from bad to worse and just kept going downhill from there for one Memphis, Tennessee man last week. Police arrested the unidentified man after a series of events that you generally only see in a good action movie. Here's what happened:

After the man crashed his car into a pole, he went to a nearby house and knocked on the door. When no one answered, he kicked in a window and was promptly shot by the homeowner. The man, who was bleeding, then left, but not before he removed his pants and some other articles of clothing. He showed up at a McDonald's and threw a rock through the front window. By that point, witnesses at the restaurant say the man had taken off all of his clothes, except for a shirt and his underpants. Eventually, he was taken to the hospital. Authorities plan to press charges after he checks out."

The world's gone mad!!

And let this be a warning to you!!

So, let's get the ball rolling then!

I've spent over 40 years in this business and I reckon I've just about seen it all - unless you know better.

I'll be building up a reference dedicated to those fabulous members of the great Insured who have done their best to either beat the system - or come crashing into contact with it!

We'll start off then with those old chestnuts - and favourites - the Insurance Claim excuses. Try these for good measure.

These excuses were on accident claim forms of a major insurance company. Clients were asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident - and this is what they wrote:

1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.
3. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
4. The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
5. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
6. The accident occured when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
7. I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
8. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
9. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
10. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.
11. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
12. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
13. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
14. When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
15. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.
16. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
17. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
18. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
19. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
20. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

Priceless!!